AudreyLog

The great grumble!
Wow. I am hungry. Ok! Update of life in 5 incomplete sentences or less. Left East Wind in May. Very hard and difficult decision. It's been rough. Got a job at Missouri State University. Am quiting in aprozimatly 7 days. I think that about sums it up. And I'm really hungry due to lack of breakfast and adequate snacks. Ah well. Everything will change soon. I will be the great changer. Ok. I shall write again in six months:)

To be a warrior...you must train!
Ok I totally stole that subject line. This bit of advice is written on the walls in Sunnyside. Which is one of the many buildings here at East Wind. And it's true. I am in training. Today I got a house. Well technically, Jacob and I got a house. A house. That's right. A house. With windows and a door, and a fire place, and a small couch, and a TV with 2 broken vcr's. Eight months ago I was in a poopy apartment...paying out the nose...in a semi-tolerable job...in a city that was getting more tiresome by the minute. Now I have a little house in the woods and get to do what I want all day long. Easy. Yes the little house needs a little work. But that's half the fun. With some time and effort I'll have my first home. Somewhere that I will love to live...and I didn't have to do anything insane to get it. It was handed to me...practically. I am feeling beyond lucky. East Wind...the dream that I don't want to wake up from. Now if I could only firgure out why I get so sad sometimes. All problems will be solved and I'll continue with the rest of my life being happiest girl this side of the Mississippi. Oh..and some woman came to visit this week who happened to be a Reiki Master...and she upgraded me:) Now I am at Reiki 2.0. Thanks Jacque. You are wonderful and good..and I hope to see you again.

Audrey maker of egg rolls.
I made egg rolls today. Well I helped make them any ways. It's just weird to learn how to make stuff from scratch...that you never would of thought of making from scratch. You buy egg rolls already made, and just reheat them if you want egg rolls right? WRONG! Easy to make and quite tasty. Now I know how to make them...and make them really well. Bagels too. I know how to make bagels. So yes. We threw together dinner tonight, and it turned out fabulously. Egg fried rice, egg rolls, and thai chicken soup. Did I mention that we hiked to the jumping cliffs yesterday, and read poetry to each other, and ate the best sandwiches ever? Are you questioning why it is that you don't live in this wondrous place? HUH? HUH? And and...! So..if any parents are reading...we have the most beautiful place that you can stay in if/when you come. I mentioned it previously. It is called the light house. And it's lovely. And you would love it. And you should come and stay in it, and visit, and such. It would be a vacation to remember :) Everyone! Come visit me! You will all love it I am sure.! Ok it's bed time.

Captinator!
I am happy. More than happy. There is this space called the Light House here. It is a little house out in the woods full of windows and sky lights. There are sky lights above the bed so you can see the stars...and trees...or the sun. It is a retreat space. Well we hung out there most of yesterday. And it's like...taking a wonderful little vacation...but your still basically at home. It was better than OK I tell you. And right now I'm full of bacon and apple fritters and hot cocoa and I've got a bit of a stomach ache...but I'm so damn satisfied i'm just trying to ignore the fact that i've eaten way to much sugar for breakfast. And and i'm trying not to worry that I need to do like 10 hours of work today. I should just work like 80 hours next week so I can take a week off. Or something. Do you know how wonderful it is here? I am so incredibly rich.... even though I technically have no money. Sharing is the way to go. Then every body gets more. I might just get to be happy for the rest of my life. It's possible! HAH

The wind! The rain! The fire!
Hello hello hello. Once again it has been to long since I've posted. Last night we had an equinox party. I didn't stay very long because I have something resembling a cold. It's weird though...because I'm feeling pretty energetic...yet sneezy and with a runny/clogged nose. Mmmmmm. Anyways. The party mostly consisted of Lion setting a large wooden structure (built specifically for this purpose) on fire. It was a big fire. It was kinda rainy...but they put lots of gasoline on it. And it burned just fine. They also put some fireworks in it...that managed to not hit anybody as it was going up. So yeah. Then we had a MONDO storm. I mean...I thought we were going to have to make a run for it to a basement type structure. It was definitely tornado weather...with lighting and rain and oh my goodness. I really didn't want to leave our room....but at one point I really had to pee. And so I put an economy sized mayonnaise jar (specifically in our room for this purpose) to good use. That's my story. It's still raining here...and there is still a little bit of fire going from the burning man. How this is possible with the amount of rain and wind we got....I don't know. That's it for today though. More next time.

It's been to long since I posted.
So...it's a beautiful beautiful day outside. Sunny, warm, but not hot. Fall Fall Fall! It's just beautiful. I can't think of any other descriptors than beautiful. Ummmm yes. So we decided not to go to Sandhill Farm for the sorghum harvest after all. I dunno why. We have just traveled a lot in the last few months...and we are visiting Colorado in November. It just seems like a lot. And I really didn't want to camp for two weeks, and work really hard :) Which is probably what we would end up doing. Oh well. Some other time. Fall makes me a bit melancholy and nostalgic. So that's how I'm feeling today. Not much has been happening. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm maybe I'm tired.

Jacob told me I was tough!
Ok so ...we went on a day float trip two days ago. It was indeed an all day affair that by the end of it we were both so incredibly tired that...well yes. It was an interesting day. The creek/river was lovely and mostly slow. Nice trees lots of flowers. Generally beautiful scenery. Gorgeous day. Cloudy not hot, but not to cool. We dumped over about 2 or so hours into it. Man! That was an oh fuck moment. I got water up my nose. For a second I thought the boat was coming over on top of me. We happened to be in a quick current and I ended up facing backwards. I couldn't get my foot though Jacob kept telling me to stand up. Ummmmm duh Jacob. Hard to do with the water just keeps pulling your feet out from under you! So yeah. We crashed. I must have kicked the boat or a rock with my shin...cause it swelled up pretty good. I don't have a big bruise oddly enough. Just had a good sized lump on my leg for a day. It's better now. Anyways. The day was not ruined due to my sudden dunk. We proceeded on. One of the girls gave me a dry shirt (though I did get wet(and dry) again in various splashing wars). We had lunch. I laughed a lot. We paddled more than we both thought humanly possible. We finally got home, and took the most amazing hot showers in the land...well 5 of us did (hurray for community shower). ANd then then then when I went to Rock Bottom there was a plethora of pizza waiting for my belly. Nothing is better than being dirty tired, clean and dry, and full of pizza. No sir. Nothing. All in all a spectacular day. Jacob was quite sore that evening though. He over did it the crazy guy. It took two baths, and some aspirin for him. Mmmmmm. Today was ok as well. I spent most of the day being quite cute and attractive. Just ask Jacob. Hopefully I can spend some of tomorrow doing some work...while being cute and attractive. We shall see.

My eyes hurt, and I'm being distracted by Desperate Housewives.
Mmmmmm. Not a great day today. It went down hill around 4 o'clock when I went to my first sweat lodge thingy. And as a side note...I think they should call sweat pants "sweet pants"...many more would wear them and enjoy. GO GET MY SWEET PANTS....I GOT SOME DOLLY MADISON DONUTS! Do-nots. Any whoo. So yeah. The sweat was horrible. I left after two seconds cause some people were un-kind to me. Not mean really just un-kind. And I was really nervous about the whole situation, and had no idea what to expect. So in this vunlerable state...a little un-kindness knocked me clean into next week. I just... I dunno I really needed someone to tell me what was up, and what was going to happen, and I just needed information, and to be treated with care for some reason in this particular instance. And yes...I didn't ask for what I needed. But...I don't think it's completly unreasonable to have expected a tad bit of guidance in this situation...especially since a few people knew I'd not done it before. So yeah. I went into the sweat. I brought a glass jar in with me...for I was drinking water out of it. They wanted to completely close up the doorway...and I didn't like that idea. Apparently you can't bring glass in there...but this information was delivered to me in such a way that made me feel like I was a moron. GOSH AUDREY WHAT ARE YOU DOING BRINGING GLASS IN HERE...DON"T YOU CLEARLY KNOW THE RULES OF A SWEET LODGE FROM THE MANY TIMES YOU"VE DONE THIS IN YOUR LIFE. That's not what they said..mind you but. Let's just put it this way. I never want to do a sweat with those people again. And I don't really feel like talking to any of them any time soon either. I dunno...just really hurt me. I don't like being vulnerable...and I don't like being treated like I'm stupid when I'm vulnerable either. So....don't do that to me ever ever :) And I won't cry buckets at you. I promise.

East Wind the gold mine.
This place grows on you. I had a bit of a rough start...but now. I mean the possibilities are endless. There are so many people who know so many things. It's like how college should be. Because you could totally walk out of here with a whole heck of a lot of skills. In the end its the skills that matter, and experience. So yeah. My biggest problem right now is focusing. That's always a problem of mine...but here there is no structure, and no one telling you what to do. So it's even harder. I always have trouble diving into things. I just want to dream. Can't I just dream and never accomplish anything PLEASE? Just live in the world of possibility? Not worry about if things don't work out. It might be to hard or to dangerous...or who knows. I just don't want to be disappointed. :) That's all. Ok bed time I think...

Experimentation with new punctuation?
Yes yes yes. Today Jacob and I made lunch for our lovely communitarians for the first time, all by ourselves. We made roasted tomato soup and split pea soup, both from scratch. The tomatos were all from our garden too. We also made grilled cheese sandwhiches, some with mozarella cheese. We were mostly out of cheader. But it turned out well, and I felt particularly satisfied with myself. Then I took a nap, only to wake up in a big sweltering patch of sun. It's been really cool lately. Like it's the seasons are obviously changing. It's exciting. Not so many bugs. Falls are nice here if I remember correctly. Well I just ran out of steam, and must make a mad dash to the Filmore. Ok bye.

16 loaves of zuke! bread
Wow...I'm low today. We made 16 loaves of zucchini bread last night. Didn't really intend to make that much. It just happened. Turned out ok. My first piece had a lovely clump of baking powder. The second piece had some funky tasting nuts in it. Heh. It's not going like hot cakes. I guess we shall see how long it takes everyone to eat it. I give it 3 days. I need to go work. BLAH I DON"T WANT TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

You say....I only hear what I want to!
So I got my first commission today. Red saw the sign I made for my cubby, and commissioned me to put a haiku he wrote on some wood. He asked me if I had done the sign freehand, and I said yes. But now I'm confused. Cause I mean, some of it I drew on there first, and then burned. Some of it I just did. So I guess that technically means I didn't "free hand" it. Or does freehand just mean you drew it without looking at something else. Now I can't remember if I did it without drawing it first. Not that it matters I suppose. I just didn't mean to claim something that wasn't true. GAAAAAAAAAAAA! Oh well. I'll clear that up later I guess. But if I draw it on the wood and then burn it...isn't that still freehanding of sorts? Well I know what I want to do for Red's haiku. Already got it in me head. Man I'm so excited I want to go work on it right now. Maybe I will!

Dizzy from wood smoke!
I made a little sign that says Jake & Audrey with flowers and vines and stuff. Woodburning is funtastic. Oh my. I suppose not much happened today. I worked in the nut house, and did a little kitchen cleaning. Tried to write something for the drum website and got stumped again. Stumpity stump. Man I'm thirsty. I mean seriously thirsty. I almost want to stop posting to make the 10 minute walk to Rock Bottom for a glass of water. East Wind helps you exercise. It's been raining a lot this week. Which I must say I love. Colorado is always so flippin dry. And...it's not so dry here. Ok but down to the good stuff. Someone wrote like a seven page rant today and put it up on the back board. (Note: the back board is where much communication happens...board meeting notes...opinions..visitor letters and what not.) The person had a lot to say about what was bugging her. And I agreed with much of it, but not with all. I dunno why it is exciting. This community doesn't always move as a whole, and I'm not sure it ever will. But the more we hear what every one wants the better. I just have to say that this place is by far the coolest place I have ever lived. It's crazy challenging, and pushes and pulls me in all kinds of ways that I think are mostly positive. I believe I may be experiencing a certain level of happiness. WE ARE NOT SURE!!!! IT COULD BE A FLUKE!!! I could get sad at ANY moment! Ahhh yes. If I were a cat, I would be purring.

I am catchy and interesting. Read me!
So today. Elderberry Syrup Day. Picked bowl of berries. Boiled the whole mess. Bugs. Stems. Tried removing most bugs. Boiled. Stirred. Very Hot. Put whole mess in jars to sit for two weeks before we boil again for syrup. Setting is important. Tried throwing pots. Learned to work clay. Learned to center piece on wheel. Hard. Amazing. Fun. Takes lots of strength. Made a pour spouty thing out of clay. Showed Jacob. Just kind of smiled and nodded. WILL NOT BE DISCOURAGED! Very proud of ones self. Indeed. Day of art and creation. So satisfying. Indeed Indeed. Going to do one wood burning picture/doodle a day in preparation for the big "endeavor." Going to play poker. And win! Maybe. We shall see. Rained again today. Emotions high today. Been hot. Lots of humidity because of rain. Feel full to the brimmity brim. Want to take a dance class somewhere. Must learn to dance. Must must must imperative. Breathe deep! Outs !

I made a mushroom!
Well I just wood burned something that you can distinctly tell is a mushroom. I am proud. I want to show the world (and I could with a digital camera)! At the same time I know it's not fantastic. Maybe that's not the point. Maybe it doesn't need to be fantastic. I've never really tried to draw anything in my life...although I've always had the feeling I'd be good at it. I know nothing about shading or making things look realistic. But that might not even be the point. I suppose the point is that it's fun. It's fun to fiddle with the different attachments, and see what I can do. I'll read books. I'll start drawing more. I'll pick simple things to do at first. You know what would be really cool? I could burn some of my poetry onto a drum. heheheheh YEAH! Talk about funtastic! I wanna make some drums out of gourds. Hmmmm so much to do.

God thrills a kitten!
So...today is the day of torrential downpour. This is what I remember most of Missouri I think. When it rains...and rains...and rains...and rains...so much that the roof is leaking. Which it is on top of our bed! Hurray. I did nothing yesterday. Today isn't looking to promising either. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Everything is wet. Today seems like a curl up with a book, or a movie day. I have worked a bit. I finally wrote back to Taiwo DuVall to tell him why I wanted to know about drums. So hopefully he will tell me. And just when I was about to go down to RB to scrounge up breakfast I found that someone had made brunch. It was excellent and good. It made me so darn happy. BLT sandwiches and our elderberry jam on bagels. Fantastic I say! Maybe I'll practice some wood burning today, and just take hours for it. I should. I will. I don't see why not. OK I"M GONNA! I mean. Yeah!

Wake me up inside!
Darnit...I keep getting stuck on crappy suck pop music. Evanescence... I spelled that wrong. I'm just suckered in by a good voice I guess. Can't help it. Ok so what has happened the past few days. I'm way behind on my labor balance for my dearest friend was here earlier in the week, and my motivation in general just seems to be sinking. Even on things I want to do. I'm battling the procrastination demon. Seriously. Re-birthing. Today I was like...let's go to town with Omar! It will be fun! It totally stunk! Omar was grumpy. I could tell he was grumpy. He's actually been in low spirits lately. I'm still getting to know the guy...and yeah ..I don't think this is how he usually is. He's just been extra grumpy these days. For some reason I just kept dragging him down. Dunno what it was. But he got grumpier and more agitated because of some stuff I was saying. I guess technically I don't have that power. But I still feel a bit guilty. Sorry Omar. You grumpy ass bastard. So don't suggest any ideas to Omar right now because he will tell you why you will die and go up in FLAMES! The heaviness that is Omar. This post is secretly about him. He's a challenging character. Pushes a lot of my buttons. Trying to figure him out I suppose. Or figure out how I want to react to that energy. Because it's mighty strong and heavy. He could make a rainbow feel generally hopeless. But alas I'm excited about certain things. I will make a list. I am excited about:
1. Working out a duet of voice and clarinet with Jacob. I want to sing "summertime" from Porgy and Bess. I think we could do something impressive.
2. Wood burning a.k.a. pyrography. We need someone to burn cliche designs like mushrooms, and Aums into our drums. I have no particular drawing skill. But something tells me I will be spectacular at this.
3. Gourd art. Carving gourds. Doing pyrography on gourds. Making gourd instruments. Can you say HELL YEAH?
4.I think me and Jake are going to take on the lower garden if no one objects. So lots of research and ....work...and the lower garden is huge. Who knows.

Ummm I'm hungry....darn. Ok feeding time and sleepity sleep.

It has been the days of good food!
Hello my dedicated readership! It's been an interesting couple of days. Last night I had dreams of being attacked by tigers, and chickens that were slightly animated. I don't know. But I woke up and had to pee. And I had to really talk myself into getting up...because I was a little scared to have to walk outside where tigers can lurk. On the by and by, I have become the butt of a Jeff Foxworthy joke. You know the "you might be a redneck if..." guy. So the jokes is, "If going to the bathroom involves shoes, and a flashlight...you might be a redneck." Who would have thought that it would be so? YEAH! So Phoenix my besty friendy came on Monday and Tuesday. We gave her the grand tour, and spent like 2 hours in the creek. We even played frisbee. I even had fun. Then we helped with dinner and played a game of Harry Potter Trivial Pursuit. I bet that Maren could beat us all. Twas fun tra la la. Tuesday I convinced Phoenix to help on a nut butter shift. Then there was more time at the creek, and she left about mid day. It was a short visit, but at least I got to see her. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

We have been eating especially good these last couple of days. I tell you it is a blessing when people cook. We had a "french" lunch today of quiches and cheesy potatoes. Pure heaven. And fried breaded chicken with mash potatoes, and a tomatoe salad (from the garden) for dinner. Mmmmmm! Not much to say I guess. OK. Off to do something. Maybe my days haven't been that interesting.
***Things I am excited about
1. The amount of sheet music I just discovered in the chicken shack
2. The amount of audio books I just discovered on our iTunes music library
3. Finding out all festivals and things to do in my area. There is a ton! I've been researching I'm excited. There is culture here...but just a different kind. Can you say apple cider festival? I CAN!
4. Oh who the heck knows.
5. Life is good.

In the service of sound
Why are there things that I just can't write about. My parents may be reading this, and god forbid I talk about something...that happened...for real. Sometimes I just get tired of keeping track of the things I can't share about my life. But my parents don't read this so..I suppose I'm safe. Just in case Jacob's parents read it though..I'll just keep somethings on the D L. (Chicken Shack and Sigur Ross, and a big jar of water) Those are the code words.

Today I helped with the nut butter clean, and then transported a fabulous lunch of chili dogs to my fellow cleaners. Very tasty indeed. During lunch we had conversations about the theory of scarcity, and the theory of abundance. And also experience you can have while on certain drugs...and creating those same types of experiences while not on drugs. Rose is a good one to talk to about abundance...and creating your own reality. Today I was scrubbing a table and making all kinds of noise, and she looked at me funny. And I said to her, "I'm happy!" And she looked back at me and said, "It won't last :(" Which made me laugh uncontrollably. She said "HAH there I increased your happiness." Thanks Rose. It has been a fine day, and I'm quite tired. The heat seems to zap your life away...no matter how much water you drink. I've drank soooooooo much. And I had my requisite smoothie today. We watched that documentary "Touch the Sound" again with Omar. It's about Evelyn Glenny the deaf percussionist. It's a fine movie...but kind of long if you don't have comfortable place to sit. My best friend Phoenix is coming to visit the farm tomorrow. It will be the last time I see her before she goes to Japan. It will be nice to see her. Ok bed!

Scarcity and fruit smoothies -...-...-...
I tell ya....how did I live without fruit smoothies before this. SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD!! So today I helped the Jacob with comptoil for a bit. What is comptoil you ask? Well it's when you go around and pick up all the poo buckets from the composting toliets. My job is to fill the saw dust buckets full of saw dust, and sweep up, and stock toilet paper. It is not yucky, and helps the whole process get done relatively quick. After that we had more ripe elderberries to harvest. It's really hot though today...and it just felt like it was taking FOREVER to do the jam this time. I think we made more than last time...there were a lot of little spiders though. Oh well. They get boiled, right? My heart wasn't in it as much. I think in about a week the last of the berries will be ripe. Not enough for jam, but enough for syrup. It's almost four and I'm worn out...from my hours of picking berries. That's the update for today. We were planning to actually unpack our car today, and clean our room. Doesn't look to promising. It's to hot to think. There was a party last night. One of our members inherited some money, and spent a chunk of it on a big party. I went and watched people getting generally intoxicated for a while, but then I left. I did get into the creek though. It's a nice creek. Seeing naked people all the time is getting more normal. It's crazy being here...because eventually you forget that you need clothes when you go into a store. Flush toilets are a real luxury. Or a real waste. One of the two:)

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